He Ain't Heavy... It's My Country

Happy Holidays everyone...

Early Black Friday found me recovering from Thanksgiving. I couldn't sleep. Not sleeping in my old bedroom at my parent's house- found me flipping through basic cable (living with an HD Silver Package- I rarely catch commercials on TV) and I caught the tail-end of the new, General Motors commercial "We All Fall Down," a montage of clips depicting failure and eventual triumph. I've even heard this commercial being referred to as the "Comeback Commercial," or the "Thanksgiving Giving Thanks Commercial."

NASA, Popeye, Animal House, Evil Knievel, a boxer and President Truman- all were represented seamlessly, with the instrumentals of "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother," a ballad first made popular by The Hollies. No spoken words, just a few written lines.

Now I'm really not a very political person. I don't spend my time acting the pundit, complaining, speculating about my country, or it's (in my opinion) slightly sorry economic and political condition. Nor will I bore you with speculations of "doom and gloom." It's just not productive.

Speculation is largely dishonorable and highly egocentric. And in the end- you're left with no real answers.

Watching the commercial which included a clip of Animal House's Brother Bluto (played by the late John Belushi) ranting about how "when the German's bombed Pearl Harbor..." (the Germans?)

Let me also quote another line from the personal favorite movie- "you fucked up... you trusted us..."

So, we all know GM has had its failures. But then again, so have we all to some extent. We all, er, f-up.

It doesn't take a Car Guy to tell you- GM and America- isn't going away; no, not anytime soon.

One thing we Americans like is a story. We love dramatics. We do it well. We're an emotional bunch. A sentimental bunch- in the right or in the wrong. That's why this commercial is so great. We love a comeback.

There's a movie playing (on premium cable) called "Away We Go," a comedy about a young pregnant couple searching the country for a place to settle- a place to call home. In the movie- a character lamented talking politics "well, if we're shit [the U.S.] everyone else is just flies on our shit... right?"

To me, that's a very clever line... despite the questionable metaphor, it's about right.

Sure, we may prop-up our failures, tell you of tales of triumph- and that's sales. We polish our turds and make them smell like roses. But there's a fair bit of truth behind the story; we can just hope there's a glimmer of truth, a real wind-up to the pitch.

If anything, it makes for great sentiment. From the country that pretty much invented... well, the whole damn thing.

Anyone else who feels differently- should go find another home, or go back to shit hole they crawled out of.

Because You Don't See Or Hear a Lot About Them... The Aston Martin Rapide- James Bond for Four

Five years ago Mercedes-Benz unveiled what they liked to call, the four-door coupe, the CLS. While I like to think CLS stands for Coupe-Like-Sedan, many scoffed at their intent to market a low-slung, obviously four-door sedan-type vehicle, albeit a bit cramped inside, and hope to pass-it-off as a coupe- which traditionally has, well- two doors.

Remarkably, they were onto something- but Mercedes, known for it’s four-door offerings in the world of luxury cars; sports coupe manufacturers like Porsche, Maserati Lamborghini and Aston Martin- traditionally two-door coupe makers are putting out their version of the coupe-squared- in other words- four doors.

Making its way across the pond from Aston Martin this spring is the all-new Rapide- the four-door, four-passenger sports car of a car (call it what you will) of what I like to think of as “James Bond for Four.”

Think Aston Martin, you think hand-built sports and grand touring coupes befitting of kings, queens and certain secret MI-6 figments of Ian Flemming’s imagination- 007; but what a lot of car people, especially car people don’t know was that the same marquee known as Aston Martin, its then owner David Brown, who bought the company in 1947 (hence the “DB” before most of the brand’s models, even today) also owned a company called Lagonda which Brown tried reviving in the early sixties with a car called the Rapide.

Rapide. Think fast, but don’t think the Spanish pronunciation which can be topped-off with an “andele, andele;” rather like “Rahh-peed” ending with something similar to what a bad dog does to a carpet when you’re not there.

The Lagonda Rapide (1961 to 1964) was basically a four-door version of an Aston Martin DB4 (for your education, Sean Connery as James Bond debuted a DB5 Vantage in Goldfinger) with Carrozzeria Touring of Milan Italian coachwork, tailfins and an oval-esque, insinuating front fascia- like a period Ford Edsel- but this vulgar four-eyed beast did 125 miles-per-hour in total comfort and poise. Roughly fifty were built and even fewer today survive. So much for the Lagonda Rapide.

Rather than try to resurrect a brand that couldn’t even be saved fifty years ago, Ford, who has owned Aston Martin for quite sometime now, had the genius thought to revive the Rapide- but under the world admired and revered Aston Martin namesake hence the car featured here.

Mercedes-Benz sometimes calls them coupes, most others sedans, the British refer to them as saloons, but as explained, the Rapide is a four-door version of an Aston Martin DB9 in which it shares much of the same components, switchgear, platform and such. Same is the normally aspired 470-horse/443 ft-lb. 6.0-liter V12 as found in the DB9, albeit with a longer wheelbase the Rapide promises to ride slightly more refined than the coupe counterpart while offering blistering road going performance for four in a hurry. The braking, handling and prowess all promise that James Bond Aston Martin feel of which the brand is known. Zero to sixty comes in a touch north of five seconds for those who benchmark a cars performance based-on acceleration alone. The only transmission offered is a rear-mounted, six-speed automatic with drive-by-wire touch-shift on the steering wheel- so, performance is quick and easy for most all.

I’ll be honest- the Rapide is not a substitute for a proper four-door sedan. Don’t expect a lot of rear-seat comfort for four grown adults as you would an Audi A8, Mercedes-Benz S-Class, Jaguar XJ or BMW 7. The configuration is more 2+2 seating, with a large and high transmission tunnel running fore and aft the cabin, much like the Porsche Panamera.

Also like the Panamera, the Rapide is a hatchback with a large fifth door/window in the back that gives access to the rear, or boot. Conveniently- the rear seats fold flat- giving an heir of practicality to what was once just a comfortable sports car. The British may call this a shooting brake configuration; we call it here a hatchback.

What a glorified hatchback it is at some $200,000 to start. Aston Martin, Ian Callum-penned good looks with an aluminum body, a leather-wrapped, exquisitely detailed and trimmed interior, Bang & Olufsen™ sound system; the Rapide is a Savile Row suit of a car, capable of running in track sneakers and still looking proper- wince at it in a darker color, and you’d be hard-pressed to really decipher it from the typical DB9 coupe at speed- if that can ever be called “typical.”

Don’t expect to see too many Rapides on the road here, or abroad. Just a couple thousand are set-to-be-made at its Graz, Austrian plant a year. All-in-all, coupe, sedan, shooting brake, hatchback, whatever you want to call it- the Aston Martin Rapide is one cool and sultry English version of the “four-door-sports car” if there ever officially was one.

The Excitement, Fall & Truth Behind Pontiac

Some blog right? It's been the better part of a month with no posts - and while the world of cars is as perpetual and ever-changing as time itself- truth be known- a lot of it... is just spin. While I can appreciate spinning wheels- my intentions and talents however terse or infrequent they may be- is just not to spin your wheels- I actually like to add something totally unique and insightful once in a while.

And I hope you can appreciate that.

I still read a lot about cars where I can- and while its hard for me to read about something car related and just re-verb-it and claim it as my own- as many automotive journalists do, and do popularly- its just not productive, nor is it profitable (at least its not for me anyway!)

But... Sunday I caught some news that Pontiac had finally closed its doors. I've heard it, written about it and known it for like a year now; but October 31, Halloween was the final, official day. Funny, how I didn't think they had a day in mind, but rather- I thought they'd just let it go... "let sleeping dogs lie" and lay where they are- I mean, no use drawing sad news to yourself after 84 years.

The web was lit-up with images of the scalloped, split-grill of a GTO- how the once mighty image of the American performance-era was officially off-the-shelves, recalling the once bright, fast and dueling brand- Pontiac.

I thought of my grandfather, my father's father who "drove Pontiacs..." Not because "he liked them" (as another family elder once thought and told me), no- he drove them because that's what he could afford- and what was around in the used car lot. (When he bought his first new car in 1968- it was an Oldsmobile... of course, another now-dead brand...)

I then thought of my father who struggled on Friday nights, and prayed that the botched-up, heavily modified and abused '59 Bonneville his father let him borrow would start and run- just enough so he could make it home from a date... (I mention it was modified- because when he wasn't complaining of its inability to start reliably- he was laying rubber on the Grand Concourse and carving-up on the Saw Mill River Parkway... against his buddy's then-new '64 GTO... and winning too, I may add...)

I thought of my friend Fred, who for his 16th birthday got a brand-new 1965 GTO... and drove it for years both Stateside and overseas while stationed in Germany. (I have to laugh when I think how strange that car must have looked, the American car with the Italian name- cruising along the Autobahn- among Volkswagens and Mercedes-Benzes...)

I also thought of my other grandfather, my mother's father the eternal "Buick man" who bought a metallic blue Catalina- because my father told him to- anything but another Buick... (and he never, ever did buy that Cadillac my grandmother always wanted- economics aside, I like to think he didn't want to give her the shallow satisfaction...)

I also thought of Knight Rider, and the Firebird Formula V8 I kinda-sorta-wanted in middle school too, of course.

But the articles I was reading- gave a myriad of reasons why Pontiac failed. They blamed the economy, they blamed GM and the American public... They even got a retired GM engineer to testify- that the reason why Pontiac failed was, (and I'm paraphrasing now) they "didn't let the Pontiac engineers do their thing;" in-other-words General Motors went "all corporate" and instead of "Building Excitement," they built a re-badged Chevrolet or, whatever. And he's right... to a point.

They did a lot of pointing fingers as to what blunders, people, car models and such- caused the demise- and yeah- the Pontiac Aztec wasn't a winner, and yes- the G5 was a Chevy Cobalt with nicer wheels- true- but you can't kill a brand with a handful of bad cars.

Every car company has its lists of winners and losers- but much like a person who is down on his luck- or a small business that is forced to close its doors- sometimes its not the exact decision or event(s), or the actions- it just is. Its just not meant to be- for forces greater than anyone or thing, or any-one-thing could expect. It's a number of things.

There's a lot of reasons why Pontiac is no-longer here. As a car guy, and not a shallow car guy (and most of them are) who only knows the latest and greatest BMW- I can tell you- if the economy had not taken such a dip in 2008- and if GM had not gone bankrupt... You'd still have Pontiac. It's a brand- it had a heritage- and while it may have been a shell of its former self for quite a while- it was surely a great brand platform that could have been developed more if given the time- and money, too of course.

Heck- if it wasn't for China's love affair with the Buick- and Buick's quite successful transformation from being the "conservative solid choice" to being the literal shadow of a Lexus- Buick would have been axed too.

The God's honest truth is- towards the end- GM had really been making strides to try to improve the Pontiac image, and bringing something unique to the fold- case-in-point- the G8.

As a Bonneville replacement- it was sporty, real-wheel-drive, had the handling of a BMW (quite literally- the engineers who did the suspension and brakes worked for BMW at one point and designed the late-1990s 5-Series) and the edgy, modern-day looks of (I dunno) a Cadillac?

You really can't blame looks- that's too subjective. I mean, lets be honest- are there many, truly good-looking mainstream production cars being made today? Not really... Sure, Pontiacs were ugly towards the end- but then again- so was and is everything else...

But if you think about it- if Pontiac had stuck-it-out, they would have brought back the Firebird and Trans-Am with the Chevrolet Camaro... And it would have done okay against other retro performance cars- such as the Ford Mustang and the Dodge Challenger.

What if they really brought back the GTO? And not just a re-badged Holden?

I know, I know... You can't bring back an entire brand based-off two or three retro throwbacks- but... it would have been enough to get it by for a little while- it would have brought some buzz.

The devastating truth is- the shrinking middle class in America, or should I say, the shrinking perception the middle class has of itself in America- just couldn't support the Pontiac niche.

Middle America has moved-on-up into Cadillacs or down into Chevrolets- there's not much else left in the middle anymore.

The middle is driving a Toyota or a Honda... Or something else- something, and lets be totally true here- that did performance and "Excitement" better than Pontiac.

For instance- the Solstice was a great little roadster- it just didn't tickle the fancy of enthusiasts quite like the Mazda MX-5. Close- but no cigar or smoking tailpipe.

The macro-truth is- middle America, which is what Pontiac had thrived-on for decades- doesn't have the confidence, the faith nor the belief in the American car like it once did.

Yeah, people still lust after Corvettes and Cadillacs- but tastes (and images) have largely shifted gears... forever. They'll never be as they were. And the recipe is not as simple as wedging the bigger engine from a Bonneville into a smaller, lighter Tempest.

And in marketing (and business too) unless you're able to meet that niche at that exact point-in-time- you're going to waiver and fail. You either have it- or you don't- there's little chance of catching-up.

While Pontiac had it in spades for so, so long; a performance image that lasted from the late-50's through the 1960's up until (I think anyway) the 1980's- their ultimate incarnations came-up- just so-so.

Like I said before- I still read a lot about cars and write about them where I can- but like Pontiac building and marketing cars, sometimes its just not productive, nor is it profitable to do so.

In the end- you just hope the people remember. And smile.

Pontiac- they don't make them like they used to... They just don't "Build Excitement" like that anymore.