Those Cruel Canadians Twist a Wicked on the Speed Bump

Just when you thought there was nothing not to like about Canadians- look what they did to the speed bump... Their idea of keeping speeders inline is applying decals/optical treatments that resemble a little girl playing with a ball or little children playing in the middle of the road so you slow-it-down.

The little girl is affectionately known as "Pavement Patty." Nice. Sounds like a limited-edition Garbage Pail Kid- remember those? Or the pet-name name for that slutty, easy, streetwalker local, around-the-way-girl named Patricia.

That's a potentially alarming, nasty bit of trickery that I believe could make old people to swerve and crash into actual people or surrounding things; or cause people to get rear-ended, or maybe both? This is how I see it playing out in America anyway...

Reminds me of growing-up in Northern New Jersey- when the affectionately dubbed Super Mario, (actually an Italian-American teenager named Peter about 1o years my senior) would speed-down the street in his Super White first-gen Toyota MR2.

Fat Nancy S. a neighbor (also known as "Flesh Mouth" to those who got to know her up-close and personal...) would yell "slow-down" and give you or Super Mario a dirty look.

Dirty looks from fat ugly people have been known to start bar-fights, ignite World Wars... Rouse neighbors at the bat-of-an-eye. But it never stopped Super Mario in his tracks...

And if it were Fat Nancy's spoiled-rotten kids in the street playing- you'd really want to run-them-over, but that's another memoir for another post...

But Super Mario, er, Peter didn't slow his MR2 till my father called his- threatening to throw a brick at the windshield to his son's minty, white Toyota.

It's no Pavement Patty- but a brick to the windshield would make anyone, yes, even Super Mario slow in his tracks at least a bit South of Canada, in Bergen County, New Jersey