Relax. It's Just a Phone.

I'm amused at the resurgence of iPhone mania- as Apple launches its all-new and improved iPhone 4. Some 600,000 have already been pre-ordered, despite minor distribution issues.

I'm a fan of the iPhone- I've been using one since July 2, 2007, just a day after the original debuted.

Yes, I'm still using the same, old, original iPhone. ("Loser," right?) Now, when that thing came-out- it was a big deal. And not because I bought one.

The anticipation of the then all-new concept of an iPhone was big news. The first, viable, fully customizable phone that could sync-in to your home computer, well- it was nothing short of revolutionary.

For this Mac user- it was a must have- the capstone to my iMac, my Powerbook, my MacBook, my thousands of dollars of pretty, white and shiny Mac accessories.

I paid over $500 for revolutionary- even had to return it a few times- because, alas, there were issues- but... Almost three years later, I still have a phone.

I also paid $500 to be one of the first in my circle of friends to have one- shit, I was a bona fide celebrity at work- and those idiots took to the iPhone like cavemen took to the discovery of fire.

Now, every idiot has an iPhone- and they should- it's a good phone.

But what amazes me is- the hysteria among the masses seems to get greater and greater as these new iPhones roll-out. It's on the web, it's in the news. It's on social networking sites- like a virus.

There's an old high-school friend of mine on my Facebook (who I haven't spoken to or seen in like 15 years) nice enough guy- became a doctor.

He's married- lives in California, has a child. He's done quite well for himself, I suppose- if that's what you want.

But what I don't get it is- the enthusiasm this seemingly accomplished, busy person is spewing constantly over the net about this stupid phone.

It's just a phone.

Shit- if I were married- had an important career and an equally more important job of being a father- the last thing I would be doing is broadcasting every minute detail (daily, almost hourly) about the roll-out of this stupid phone, on Facebook too, no less.

It's not a stupid phone, its a smart phone, but if I had a life where important things were going on in it- the last thing on my mind would be my stupid phone.

Well, easy for me to say- despite not having much going on too monumental (and I may add- nothing too monumental is going on in car-land- hence the lack of posts lately- I am sorry), I could care less about my phone.

I mean, it's at my side constantly- I do use it a lot for serious business. But it works fine- until it breaks- I'm not buying a new one, for lack of being a "winner" with the latest, and greatest toy.

The other night I fell like a ton-of-bricks, incidentally on a ton-of-bricks- a friend of mine was laying a stone patio and in the dusk of night (and lack of outside lighting- that'll be the next home project I guess) I fell, quite swiftly, over a pile of pavers in his backyard.

I was fine, I am fine. Just a minor scrape on my shin, no bruises, aches, pains or broken-bones, thank God.

I will tell you this- falling at 31 is not like it used to be- but, thankfully, I'm in decent shape enough to be able to still take a downward hit. (And strangely enough- I found it funny too, like I was some kinda toddler, learning to walk or something.... Fall and tell me how it makes you feel.)

My old, original (read aluminum) iPhone took a nice hit too- it's got a neat dent in it- a dent that would have killed a newer, now plastic iPhone.

Funny how I'm proud of this dent. The phone took the business-end, the hard edge of a concrete paver- better the phone than my upper quadricep!

If you take the hits and survive- you're proud of most anything, no matter how small, or serious the dings, and dents may be.

But when you've been there, and done the iPhone before every loser who's now online Twittering about the all-new iPhone 4, well- you'll too think twice about buying a new one.

Seemingly, with this bored society in which we now live- iPhones are still a big deal.

Easy for me to say- I did it first. Then again- I've always been first with the toys.

My advice to you- buy an all-new iPhone 4.

Just don't hurt yourself- you'll never look at your stupid iPhone quite the same way again. **

(**Doctorate may be required...)

Yeah... I Don't Chase Technology. A Look Back at Home Computing at Thirty-Something.

I don't really consider myself a gadget guy. I mean, I dunno, am I? I'm thinking of up-grading to the new iPhone that's swirling around the Internet...

I don't like to think I chase technology. Or better written- I don't chase technology- do you think I do?

My first computer- was a Commodore 64- I got it at Toys-R-Us on Route 4, in Paramus, NJ- I want to say around 1985, maybe '86. I had the matching brown VGA monitor too- when everyone else hooked theirs up to a small, 13-inch TV.

It didn't do shit- because you had to practically known a programming language to get it to run... Funny, I remember typing "Run" a lot.


I started using Apple computers back in 1988 with the Apple IIgs- for those Macheads out there- "gs" stood for "graphics and sound." I think it was like $3,000 and I don't think it did anything particularly useful unless you had the time, the diskette (this thing had a 3.5 floppy when everything else was at 5.25) and the money to buy the program. (Holy shit- when was the last time I wrote :floppy," let alone "diskette?") We bought it because it was supposed to be better, "more friendlier" than the Commodore.

(The early Mac Heads considered themselves so fucking righteous too... Now didn't they?)

The IIgs like blew-away any and everything else. It looked and sat like a "separates" system any audiophile junkie would be proud of on a rack- separate monitor (back in the day- monitors came attached to the CPU- think Commodore Pet, original Mac) CPU, diskette drives... Two of them. I remember I had to buy a 5.25 drive- because everyone was still on that- this thing, also had the separate, aforementioned 3.5 too. Lets not forget the one-button mouse, and the keyboard. Made the Apple IIe at school look like the ugly, slower sister it was.

Did I mention I also had the Apple tractor-feed, ink ribbon color printer. Pixels baby. I made birthday and greeting cars on it- the program escapes me now.


Damn, I'm getting old. But with the world seemingly going to IBM PC circa the early 1990's- at least in my neck of the woods (ironically- IBM had a home office just a few blocks of my home) we got an IBM PS1- it was ugly- built better than the car I drive today and logged-on to Prodigy- the Internet, through a phone wire. Got it at Sears right across from the Kenmore selection of refrigerators. I shit you not.

I remember having some major software issues with it. I didn't know what I was doing anyway.

College came in the fall of 1996 and so did a brand-new Compaq Presario Pentium II with 133 megahertz. I remember getting the 133- hoping to save a little from the blazing, super fast 166. This too, was an ugly machine- strange shapes- but it lasted all through college- through the acceleration of the Internet and even downloaded and listened to music on Napster, (before it was a punishable crime- don't download songs for free- do it on iTunes) towards the end of my senior year in college.

It took something like four or five hours to download one song- I'd set it at night before I went to sleep to download three of four- if I was lucky- I got the good stuff- if I wasn't, oh well. Guess I had to go to Sam Goody and buy the CD for $18.00.

I was buying a lot of CDs in those days- I got kicked-off the Internet a lot back then.

The Compaq blew-up- literally- and I inherited another Compaq- that was just as ugly- but by then- I was working, working on Dells, Gateways and "dummy terminals" (think faded black screens with neon green font writing) on Wall Street.

They were slow- but no slower than the people using them- so it was okay...

Then, as luck would have it- I started writing professionally- and to better swallow my morning commute into Manhattan- I bought a second-hand Macintosh Powerbook- ironically nicknamed the "Wall Street;" I paid too much for it- but then gave it to my parents and they used it for years before my father was almost arrested for threatening to throw it at the cable guy- it was so heavy it could have very well been a lethal weapon.

In the fall of 2002- I walked into the very first Apple Store (Yes, the first one, I swear) and financed (through an "Apple Loan") my Powerbook 667.

Like everyone has that hot car when you were young "back in the day"- like that sexy Corvette, Mustang or something red? I had that Powerbook 667- man, that thing was elegance. THAT was a computer.

(I even bought it with the very first iPod- a 5-gig with a click-wheel that actually spun-around like an old telephone dial- I used it for years till people at the gym started looking at me funny and throwing change my way...)

Titanium construction - silver paint that chipped off and needed re-touching, but I didn't care- it was like- from another planet. The keyboard, held in place by magnets- lifted up to reveal a maze of high-polished, chrome underpinnings and heat-sinks. Steel tubes, wires, it looked better than the engine in some exotic Italian sports cars- and they're displayed under glass- this thing was hidden by my keyboard. Sublime.

Sublime until the aluminum hinge (or was it magnesium?) that kept the monitor on axis from the keyboard broke and they wanted an un-Godly amount of money to fix it- by then it was deemed unable to get onto the WiFi at graduate school anyway- so- off to my nightstand it went- and in came the more subdued but way more functional MacBook I have now. But the 667 still works and does most everything I need it to do. (I'll leave it at that, thanks.)

My only real regret is not going back to November, 2002 and instead of buying that 667 and iPod- I took the $2500 and put it all in Apple Stock. (I think I'd be retired by now, or typing from my yacht in Palm Beach, Fl...)

It didn't take too long for my current, 13-inch (and white) MacBook to look like shit- the white's hard to keep clean, and the brittle and fragile plastic case has a tendency to crack and splinter right around where your wrists sit while typing.

(That's okay- I may want to commit suicide as I write this blog- would that get me some clicks?)

Electrical tape covers the holes- it's going on four years old- but that's okay- I don't chase technology- remember? And it looks better this way- less... Well, white and new. Dare I say "like a little girl..."

Now, things have changed- I think I'm due for a new smart phone... (The guy who doesn't chase technology is still using his original, metal-backed 8-gig iPhone... but in the summer of 2007- I was chasing it, trust me) I think when it's time- I'm going to get this- which is leaking around the Internet- The New iPhone.

People who know me well- ask... "Are you going to get the iPad?"

I quip back at them... "please- I'm lucky I know how to turn a computer on..." with a wink and a smile.