The All-New 2011 Ford Explorer- Thankfully Different, In Hindsight, Of Course...

So, cyberspace is all-a-buzz about the 2011 Ford Explorer due in dealerships this winter. I believe it's making (or has it already made- I was watching Mad Men last night?) its sneak-peek debut on Facebook- but the deets are out- the 2011 Ford Explorer... is (thankfully) quite different.

The Explorer originally made its debut in or around 1990- it was wildly popular- a more domesticated, four-door version of what was once called a Bronco II, the Explorer- a body-on-latter-frame (truck) vehicle literally defined the Sport Utility Vehicle segment.


That's not to say, looking back in time, the Explorer was any good- it really wasn't. In complete hindsight- most everything once thought as cool or good for you through history- is actually really quite bad- and the Ford Explorer is no exception to the rule. As far as cars go- the Explorer is right-up-there with broiled red-meat and smoking- the kind of chic that makes Mad Men today such a success.

Now twenty years-on, you'd be hard-pressed to find a surviving, original Ford Explorer- most of them have since rusted-away to oblivion or were the $4,500 trades of choice during last year's Cash For Clunker's campaign. (Remember that one? Where has the year gone?)

But in the past two-decades- the Ford Explorer, while it defined an exciting, significant (now almost embarrassing) segment in automotive history- it wasn't without scandal or problem. Not only were the first Ford Explorers prone to rollover, when they did roll-on-to their roof sections- the pillars would deform- leading to what most litigators called "roof-crush," a problem that killed and crippled many- causing millions in litigation for Ford- tarnishing the Explorer for anyone with an ear for car safety.

But roof-crush was not exclusive to the Ford Explorer; however, the affordability and popularity of the Ford Explorer made it an example, a poster-child for needed, improved SUV safety. The only question was- did Ford know of the problem?

Compounding the roof-crush problem of the earlier Explorers, was the Firestone tire situation- jogging my memory now- Firestone ATX tires were under-inflated in spec for comfort (by Ford) for the Explorer. The Firstones would then heat-up and fail like hand-grenades on the then-period Explorers- tires shredding- causing cars to lose control, roll, crash or a deadly combination of all-three. Yes, more people died.

Both Ford and Firestone spent billions pointing the finger at each other- (again) did Ford know the Firestones were prone to failure on cars like the Ford Explorer? Did Firestone truly supply a faulty tire? Regardless- it's so-ten years ago...

(I don't think the all-new and exciting 2011 Ford Explorer will have Firestones as standard offering... That would be just too ironic...)

For the past decade- while Ford still proclaims the Explorer a "brand-mainstay"- second only to the Mustang, I could honestly say- it hasn't been a contender in the hearts and minds of SUV drivers for quite sometime.

Muted, quiet and sorry- like an embarrassed, drunk asshole at a social get-together who has been outed for bad behavior- the Explorer, despite being a relative bargain compared to more popular, modern SUVs- I don't know too many who have flocked to Ford for one in recent years. But, hopefully for Ford- this is about to change.

Firestones will surely not be standard, nor will it have a latter, truck-frame- like its predecessors. A car, Taurus chassis will be the platform- making the now uni-bodied Explorer sit a tad lower, and drive, handle more like a car. It's also a front-wheel-drive, as standard like the Taurus.

Also more-like-a-car is the fuel economy- yes- into the 30-miles-per-gallon realm- making the all-new Explorer "green" for the 21st Century driver. The original Explorers were lucky to get half the economy of the new ones, then again- gas in 1995 was half the price it is today.

Gone is the V8 option- and in with an optional turbo-charged, Ecoboost inline-4; which, ironically, puts out power than the original V8 options of years ago. Go figure that one. Standard is a 290-horse 3.5-liter six- which, in my option- should work just fine.

So the Explorer is now officially a crossover- which, as I've noted before- is where the SUV segment is going.

The Explorer brand-wise has some huge shoes, er, tires-to-fill- however, segment-wise, as far-as-Ford is concerned- it's surely replacing the lowly, re-badged crossover Taurus X- which car guys will tell you- started-out as just the just-as ambiguous Ford Freestyle- which, I'm convinced sold by the dozens, not the millions like the Explorer.

Funny how Ford, in an effort to boost the Freestlye- gave it the Taurus nameplate- but now, the crossover is actually more a-kin to the SUV brand- the Explorer. Go figure. Again.

Oh, how times have changed. I'm excited to see the all-new Explorer on Facebook. I don't mean to marginalize or minimize the all-new 2011 Explorer by mentioning its shitty past- but, I believe most car people in-the-know can't help but keep the past in mind while seeing the future of the Explorer and the SUV, today- in the all-new 2011 Ford Explorer.

Oh, how far we've come... But don't worry- in another twenty years- this car's going to suck, be crass, or be bad-for-us too. That's just how it goes with history and nostalgia... Go figure. Yet, again, hindsight- just like Mad Men.

CBS to Remake Hawaii Five-O!

CBS is going to re-make Hawaii Five-O!

Goosebumps is all I get when I hear the original opening score of Hawaii Five-O, and that pan-in of Jack Lord, standing on a balcony of the Ilikai Hotel... "Book'em Danno..."

Growing up, my grandmother on my father's side lived with us on the weekends and stayed with us sometimes for weeks on end... Her smoking, and her television habits were pure 1960's and 70's; this was in the 80's when channels like 9 (UPN) and 11 (PIX) ran older shows in syndication. This was also back-in-the-day when Saturday afternoons meant Kung-Fu!

Hawaii Five-O was grandma's favorite- and I took a liking to the opening credit song and sequence, often covered by The Ventures. To my surprise- Hawaii Five-O ran from 1968 to 1980- so, it wasn't a totally "vintage" show when I started watching it.

Now most every "new" show I watched as a kid back then is now on Nick At Nite- which makes me feel really old... But anyway.

My grandfather on my mother's side, the described "Buick man" in Saturday's post was a Barnaby Jones freak- which exclusively used Ford Motor Division products... My grandmother had a thing for Jack Lord, "Steve McGarrett"- who rode around in a black Mercury Parklane Brougham.

Must have been a CBS thing... Fords- which ironically, neither of them, my grandfather nor my grandmother would have been caught dead riding in...

Between the two of them- I grew an appreciation for instrumental opening credits, funky suits, skinny ties and 4,000-pound sedans- or what I like to call- "Grown-Ass Man Cars..."

But while I'm excited to see Hawaii Five-O returning, and something different than the reality TV crap that abounds today- I don't know how the "Son of Steve McGarrett," or notions of him do in the new-world in which we live now.

My honest opinion? Well, I'm not a network TV expert but I don't know any re-makes that have taken-off, unless it's a spin-off of the CSI franchise- in that case- they should have called it "CSI Hawaii... ('Five-O' If You're Still Alive & Remember It Fondly...)"

But just a few years ago- NBC tried a remake of one of my personal favorites Knight Rider.

And we all know what a popular show that was- just one season. Maybe it was the plot, maybe the acting? Or maybe it was the car- after all- I never took a liking to the morphing Mustang Shelby they used as a replacement for KITT- who, as you know- was a highly modified Pontiac Trans-Am.

While the notions of going retro or back are good and well-intended; the actuality remains- you often really can't go there again.

Sons of, daughters of... nephews of, or just sons of bitches can never replace the true original.

The players, the people and the plots have changed forever. And yes, the cars have too.

And so it goes... you can't go home again. Not even if it is on CBS- and it still is, probably just a glorified Ford commercial... and a ploy to bring back funky suits, skinny ties and Brylcreem too, of course. Which ironically, I also like.